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بِسمِ
اللهِ
الرَّحْمَنِ
الرَّحِيمِ Allah,
in the name of, the Most Affectionate, the Eternally Merciful |
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Your
Questions & Comments Don't suppress questions!
Questions are good for your intellectual health!!! |
آپ کے
سوالات و
تاثرات سوالات
کو دبائیے نہیں!
سوالات
ذہنی صحت کی
ضمانت ہیں!!! |
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اردو
اور عربی تحریروں
کو بہتر دیکھنے
کے لئے نستعلیق
فانٹ یہاں سے
ڈاؤن لوڈ کیجیے۔
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New articles and books are added this website on
1st of each month. How to deal with a
sensitive child? Don't hesitate to
share your questions and comments. They will be highly appreciated. I'll reply
ASAP if I know the answer. Send at mubashirnazir100@gmail.com
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Dear brother Aslam U Alakum, This question is related to family affairs, and in
depth related to training and development of kids and children. I have one son and two daughters. My son is eldest and
he is 4.5 years old. Second is the daughter she is 2.5 years old and newborn
daughter she is only 2.5 months old. The problem is with my daughter in the middle. She is
started problems when the third baby was born She feels jealousy with the
baby a lot and now with her brother also. She feels, even if speak to any of
other kid. if i get something at for her brother, baby sister or even for her
mother she feels it. She started loosing weight and her growth has stopped. Initially i was not much worried about this because i
was considering this as a normal matter. But its really serious and much
worried about her and in the mean while my wife and my self dont want her to
carry this habbit of feeling jealous in her rest of life. I think this is
purely Psychic problem. But we dont know how to handle her. And how to get
her back to normality with our behaviours. Because i have tried lots of
thing. I tried to make her understand by speaking wit her. By providing her
similar things that i provide to other kids. i tired to provide her more love
but she always feels a lot. For example, last night we were travelling in car
towards a market. In way my son was standing on the back seat and i was
looking him in the mirror and i called him as "Beta" and uttered
few words " like he is my best beta". Then Later after few minute i
realized that my daughter started not to take interest any thing and she is
siting on side of seat with a sad mode. then whole night she remain like
that. In morning i came to know that she was have mode like because i was
speaking with love to my son. Can you please suggest any thing special that i can
adopt for her. Or we can treat her in good manner? Wasallam A Brother May 2011 |
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Dear Brother Wa alaikum us salam wa Rahmatullah I suggest the following course of action: 1. The child who has enjoyed exclusive attention of
his/her parents usually faces this problem when a new baby is born and
attention of the parents especially the mother is diverted towards the
new-born. 2. Some children are less sensitive so they don't care
but others are very sensitive on this issue. 3. What we guess in your case is that attention of your
wife diverted to the newborn (may be partial) and your elder daughter felt
herself ignored, so she is behaving in this way. It might be a wrong
perception but everyone acts on his/her perception and not necessarily on
reality. 4. The best way to treat her is to give her full
attention. Your wife can do so while the newborn is sleeping. Such attention
should be so intense that it should compensate not giving her attention while
the newborn is awake. She has to play that in such a way that the newborn
should also not be ignored as giving attention at this age helps in good
growth of children. 5. You and your wife should whisper in the ear of elder
daughter everyday at least once at different time that "you are the most
important and beloved child of us". Also, tell her why she is important
by telling her positive attributes. It should be done privately so that your
elder son is not affected. Similarly, you should do so with your son as well
so that he also may not feel ignored. 6. Give individual time to each of your child
separately for discussing their special problems. 7. In the long run, you should convince your each child
that other children also have rights and if we don't give them such right,
Allah will make you and them accountable. Try to develop a sense of sacrifice
and love for other children. You can get advantage of some cartoon movies
etc. on this issue. This should not be started now, you can do so, say after
one month, after giving her full attention. I hope this approach will help. wassalaam Mubashir |
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مصنف
کی دیگر تحریریں Quranic Arabic Program / Quranic
Studies Program / علوم
القرآن
پروگرام / قرآنی
عربی
پروگرام / سفرنامہ
ترکی
/ مسلم
دنیا اور ذہنی،
فکری اور نفسیاتی
غلامی
/ اسلام
میں جسمانی و
ذہنی غلامی
کے انسداد کی
تاریخ / تعمیر
شخصیت
پروگرام /
قرآن اور
بائبل
کے دیس میں / علوم
الحدیث: ایک
تعارف / کتاب
الرسالہ:
امام شافعی کی
اصول فقہ پر
پہلی کتاب کا
اردو ترجمہ و
تلخیص
/ اسلام
اور دور حاضر
کی تبدیلیاں / ایڈورٹائزنگ
کا اخلاقی
پہلو سے
جائزہ / الحاد
جدید کے مغربی
اور مسلم
معاشروں پر
اثرات / اسلام
اور نسلی و
قومی امتیاز / اپنی
شخصیت اور
کردار کی تعمیر
کیسے کی
جائے؟
/ مایوسی
کا علاج کیوں
کر ممکن ہے؟ / دور جدید
میں دعوت دین
کا طریق کار / اسلام
کا خطرہ: محض ایک
وہم یا حقیقت / Quranic Concept of Human Life Cycle
/ Empirical
Evidence of Man’s Accountability
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